Penguin+Observation+Team

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//Monday13th March, 2006// =Penguin Observation Team=

It took me four years before I was accepted on to the penguin observation team.

On the first year I had to do heaps of challenges, like catch, kill, cook and serve an Octopus in 30 seconds. But I did it in 1 minute and 48 seconds, so I failed and the penguins got angry and said “Go away, and come back next year”.



So I came back the next year.

“Year 2, I guess” I said.

When I got to their hide-out the penguins said “Oh it’s you again! We’ve been thinking what we should do to you, as in torture, Ha Ha Ha Ha He He eeek. I better not do that laugh again or I’ll die.’’ “Good” I whispered. “What did you say?” “Err, that is bad.” "Yeah yeah that’s bad” said all the penguins. "Bad luck for you egg head." I whispered. This time they did not hear me, phew! “Anyway", said chief penguin, "back to the torture. Jump into the rubbish penguin scrap bin and eat all the octopus eye balls, find the secret message and bring it to me.’’ So I did that and came back with a milk carton.

Then the penguin chief got so angry and said “You dumb people don’t even know what a piece of paper is! go away and come back later” which I think means next year.

So I came back next year, “3rd year what will it be this time I said” When I got to there this time they were all happy drinking beer painting the walls pink singing and saying, “Come and dance with us,’’ ‘STOP’. All about being happy.

“Yeah Right!” in my dreams. It was all dark, they were fighting in my ears and I think I need glasses. The penguins were smoking, they were smoking, oh my gosh penguins and smoking do not mix, trust me.

Any way the next challenge is building a baby penguin slide which would be easy because my x job was building slides. Trust me ,you just get heaps of ice and make a slide type of shape which should be 1- meter, so you should get it exact which accurately should be 1 meter and 4 feet and 5 millimetres. Anyway, I have to build it in 25 minutes and I did it in 10 minutes and 9 centimetres so I passed, after 3 years of hard work.

I passed!

Oh-yeah, I was so happy that I ran up the walls jumping up and down so much, even too much, so much that the whole hide-out fell to pieces right on top of every one.

This time the chief was over angry he was…. oh he was lost for words, he was so angry and scared because of the predators. ‘YOU'VE CROSSED THE LINE NOW, SO GET OUT AND STAY OUT….NOW’ yelled the chief penguin. “Ok, Ok, I’m going already’’ I said. Ow! Ow! my legs were aching. I had already been walking through a blizzard for 75 minutes, in bare feet.

I kept thinking about the poor penguins because they were so nice. (not!) Anyway I felt sorry for the poor things. So that’s when it hit me! I'll come back next year and fix their hide out. So that’s what I did.

“4th year and I got an idea which is all under control and it is brilliant (I think.)’’

This is the most scary thing I’ve ever done in my life. Facing the chief penguin __alone.__

“Come in’’ said the chief penguin when I opened the door. “Hello” I whispered, “Oh its you again’’ screeched the penguin. “Didn’t I tell you to go away and never come back?" shouted the chief’. “No I said” “He lies’’ said the guard “you said it loud and clear last year, right in front of everyone…even me.’’ “__No’’__ I yelled. “__Yes’’__ he shouted. “NO.’’ “YES’’ “Enough, just let him speak,’’ said the chief penguin.

“You didn’t hear anything’’ said the annoying chief guard penguin, and after that he slipped back in to his place. “Yeah! I won! I won! Yeah! I won! I fought with the chief guard penguin, Oh-yeah!

Anyway, back to the story.

The chief penguin said that I had to tell him everything, every thing I said, "Gulp", everything fell silent…

“Unless you want to get fired," whispered chief penguin’.’ “Ow no no no no no", I said. “Then spill,’’ OK, so I did, every single detail apart from the insults and loo breaks.’’ “I see," said the chief, "so you want to help.’’ “Of course!" was my first reply. “Ok then," said the chief, "let's get straight to work.’’

Wa Wa Wa boo who who this is __Not__ what I expected looking after the nursery while the penguins build there hide out. Wa Wa. Every signal dingle thing has gone completely wrong, really really wrong especially now I have to look after these things.

Everyone would think they're darlings but…. they're complete monsters and they're also very cute little monsters. I mean honestly you’d need about an army of me to get these monsters under control. No, rub that out, you won't need about an army of me, you will need an army of me at least. After a while I was getting bored sitting in the corner ignoring everyone, so I decided to actually play with them, after all they do seem a little bored, so I got up to see whether they wanted to play some games like – Hide and seek, tag, Chinese whispers and Simon says.

They all loved these games and before we knew it was time for them all to go home. This seemed very sad for the little ones, one even started crying because he didn’t want to go.

A few months later I became an expert at baby sitting. They loved me. I was getting so good that I could do 3 things at once while doing a play.They loved me so much that they forgot that their proper teacher was coming back, so when they heard the news that she was coming they all cried and cried for ages.

Finally when they stopped crying and everything was back to normal and everyone was doing their old jobs again I thought I might have a little look around the place. When I found a door saying __KEEP OUT__ with a picture of a polar bear which is probably is like a cross bone in our words. I checked to make sure that there were no penguins around. Check, check. I’m in and I'm lost for words, it was amazing, honestly there right ion front of me were the biggest computers, video cameras recording what’s happening in Wellington and Masterton, and lots of other places in New Zealand, showing what people were doing. I was wondering what they were doing when I found a sign saying Penguin Observation Team. Which I think means the penguins are observing people instead of people observing penguins. When I looked closely, in front of the big computers were black chairs with penguins on them watching very closely at what the people are doing, observing every movement and getting other penguins to write it down for them.

I also saw some tables with a few bits of clothes that the penguins have found and I know that they were found because there was a sign saying __Found Items__ above them. Then when I went to look at the clothes a bit closer because I think I saw my hat there, and as I got closer I saw my name in there. "Little rascals," I whispered. Just after I said this when I was walking over to my hat I heard a very loud siren which I must have set off while I was walking over…… then everything was silent for a second and then BANG cling clong cling clong shic shic Bang

“Number 1 I told you not to shoot until I say so”. This was the sound of penguins dressed in amour and then shooting and reloading, then one accidentally shooting when he wasn’t supposed to and then getting told off. It was only now that I realized that they weren’t shooting at me only the ceilings, “Phew”. “Put your hands up” yelled the chief guard penguin “and leave them there”. "Now," he said, I'm going to tell you what just happened to you. Somehow when you came in none of us heard you, so we kept on working on our project which is called Penguin Observation Team only we observe people, then when you walked in further you got caught by those video cameras on the wall which, made the alarm go and we all came in so on so on and then where here now, talking here, do you want to look around?” “Yes please” I said. The place was so cool,

Just when they were showing me the cool weapons they have, there was a big big earthquake, it was terrifying so we all ran and hid under the desks that we could see. And because I was scared I closed my eyes.

When the earthquake was over I heard a familiar voice of Papa's so I opened my eyes and saw Papa in my room, I was in bed – it must have been a dream because I was in the North Pole and now I’m home in New Zealand and all of the penguin stuff was a dream, or was it?

A few minutes later while I was getting dressed I looked up to keep my balance, then I immediately fell down because I saw on the walls photos of the penguins and I in North Pole. Then all of a sudden I looked at one photo and saw things moving inside and looked closer and saw me getting given a trophy with a certificate saying __Thank-you for Helping us Know What People are Like____,__ then the Chief smiled and winked at me.

The End